I'm jealous of your bromance
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize