Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
