Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
