Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Enjoy the penises
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
