there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
