Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize