you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
