It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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