when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
