why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
