i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
