toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
