So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
