We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The Olympian is in my bed
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
