Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize