so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
