i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
