Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
