Ambien. No doubt about it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize