Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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