She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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