dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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