Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
