Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
