lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
