Are we in a gay sports bar?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
