you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
