i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
