Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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