Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
