dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
