i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
