this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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