I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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