I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
