he wants to bone in the snuggie
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
