he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
