So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
