so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
