Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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