Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
