Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
there is glitter all over my balls
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
