It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
