my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
