Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
