OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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