I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
