We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
