oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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