if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
