I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
