so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
