and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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