i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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