just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
