i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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