He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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