it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
