we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
