What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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