He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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