i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
