Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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