Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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