thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
