is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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