I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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