Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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