Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize