eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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