His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
