I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
