Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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