Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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