did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize