Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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