haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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