you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
