I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
