So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
