I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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