I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
