Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
